Yes, No or Not Yet

I’m still reeling over the rejection email I received about not being accepted into the PhD program. I wrote about that here, if you want to laugh with me, and not at me, because I’m still sensitive about it.

Regardless, I am forever on the trajectory of answering that philosophical question, “Where do I belong? What am I going to be when I grow up?”

These are the kinds of questions I go over with seventh graders every first quarter with the Identify Unit. Boy. . . here I am, still trying to figure my life out.

Well, it’s just that I was hoping that pursuing a doctorate would be the next step in a career move, or the next phase in my life. I am a believer, and I know that God will always provide the way, and if I stay close to Him, I will always be in His perfect will for my life.

Now, I’m a bit despondent to think that I am undeserving of pursuing a PhD because God doesn’t think I’m worthy. Or, I may have messed up somewhere to not have God hand this to me. *sheesh, I am still sounding like a whining brat.

I also know that God’s answers are either yes, and amen, but He will say no and not yet.

So. .  .did God close this door for a reason? His reason? And If so, . .  so now what?

Am I so anxious, unsatisfied and unfulfilled that I am looking for purpose? Aren’t we all.